Ponderize Weeks 1&2

I only have a few minutes, but I wanted to reflect on the 1st two weeks of our family goal to PONDERIZE a scripture every week.

We have been memorizing scriptures for years as a family. We usually select one at Family Home Evening that we repeat before scriptures and prayers daily. Over the years we have memorized the Articles of Faith and several meaningful scriptures and quotes. The difference is that we now intend to ponder those scriptures more each week. Already we have felt the contrast between just memorizing and PONDERIZING the scriptures.

Week 1: Moroni 10:5

Our very first scripture was chosen to help us to consider the gift and power of the Holy Ghost as our family prepared for my youngest son’s baptism. It was amazing to me how often we found reference for our scripture that week. We discussed the mission and purpose of the Holy Ghost. We found so many connections in our daily scripture reading that we discussed as a family. In pondering and not just memorizing this scripture, it became a part of our family DNA that week. At Hyrum’s baptism, his sisters each shared a personal recent experience with the Holy Ghost. The power of Holy Ghost filled our hearts and home.

In Hyrum's own words, "I felt the spirit so much in my heart. I felt so good and warm. I know that I made a right choice in being baptized." I love that he can recognize the way the Holy Ghost is speaking to him. He felt it. He understood it. Ponderizing Moroni 10:5 helped our entire family prepare for a more meaningful spiritual experience at Hyrum's Baptism.

Week 2: Matthew 5:16

This week, I chose one of the scriptures from President Monson’s talk ‘Be an Example and a Light'. It has been the perfect scripture to ponder this week. In our scripture study we read the words of the prophet Jacob. He had hard things to say to those that were not keeping the commandments. They were not showing the light of the gospel and good works. We discussed the power of good examples. My daughter said, "But it is hard to be good all the time." She is absolutely right. Here are a few things we pondered and talked about this week.

1. It takes courage to let our lights shine.
2. Our light needs to always shine since we don’t know when others are looking.
3. We can get help to let our lights shine from prayer, scripture study, and the Holy Ghost.

Tonight my husband is singing for a Stake Priesthood meeting, “Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy”. It is a tender hymn pleading with us to keep our lights shining. The imagery in the hymn is so beautiful. I found a painting by Frank Kliewer that conveys the image that I see in my mind’s eye when I think about this song.

Brightly beams our Father’s mercy

From his lighthouse evermore,

But to us he give the keeping

Of the lights along the shore.

Dark the night of sin has settled;

Loud the angry billows roar.

Eager eyes are watching, longing,

For the lights along the shore.

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother;

Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,

Trying now to make the harbor,

In the darkness may be lost.

Let the lower lights be burning;

Send a gleam across the wave.

Some poor fainting, struggling seaman

You may rescue, you may save.

I pray I will keep my lamp burning and my light shining. This hymn fell into place so beautifully with our scripture this week. The talks and lessons in church today also fit in with our scripture and discussions on letting our light shine. I am so grateful for all that the spirit was able to teach our family so much this week. Already I feel the difference that PONDERIZING has made in my own heart.

I Delight in the Sabbath

I Love the Sabbath Day.

Looking back over my life I always have had respect for the Sabbath day, which which was taught early by my parents. Growing up we were a family that did not watch regular TV, attend sporting events, shop, go out to eat, do homework, or attend parties or events on the Sabbath. We had a large list of things that we could do like read from good books, attend church, work on future talks or lessons, watch church movies, learn family history stories, make treats to share with others, write letters, go for a walk, visit other wards or branches in our area, and spend time as a family. We often had guests spend the day at our home and they were included in Sabbath activities. We listened only to uplifting music and grew to love the hymns, primary songs, EFY albums, and classical music. It was a wonderful way to keep the Sabbath distinct and different from any other day of the week. It has been easy to carry those similar habits over into my home and family.

In our most recent General Conference, Elder Russel M. Nelson spoke about the Sabbath. His talk articulated so much that I already felt about the Sabbath. The Sabbath is a Delight

I defend, protect, and plan for things that I feel strongly are important in my life. I Love celebrating birthdays and holidays. I spend hours and hours in preparation for each event. I look up things online, discuss ideas with friends, set aside time, and really plan to create memorable experiences.

My Sabbath observance is no different. My feelings for the sacred nature of the Sabbath day directly determine my behavior. I defend, protect, and plan for experiences that will occur weekly in my home. I do this through selecting music to play in the background all day long, making sure things are picked up on Saturday evening so we aren't in the middle of messes and projects, and waking up before my family so that I can set the tone in my home. I plan my Sabbath menu ahead of time. I plan for the children to help make a treat that we can enjoy and share. I plan for church and ask questions to help prepare my family for the Sacrament as we drive. I plan for Hour of Power and family time.

Hour of Power is one of my favorite weekly traditions. During this time (which isn't always a full hour) the children can read from the Friend, scriptures, or family histories, watch any church videos, and write in their journals. I have found that writing down something they felt, learned or liked has been a tremendous blessing. As they record their own thoughts, they are growing personal seeds of faith and testimony. (When they were younger, I wrote down some thoughts for them.)

Yesterday our Hour of Power included designing their Mission Statement/Goal pages and watching a short video about an amazing young man. His story is incredible. 

Butterfly Boy Shows Strength

This was a powerful lesson for every member of my family. We spoke about Jonathan's amazing attitude. He encourages everyone to look at the positive. We talked about how we take so much for granted in our busy lives. Our hearts were touched by his struggles, his pain, and his determination. Each of my children felt a connection to this impressive young man. Jonathan has such a good spirit about him and he taught us so much yesterday. Our home was filled with light. 

I certainly felt a surge of determination and resolve to endure my difficulties with grace. I felt recharged by our family discussion in Hour of Power. I felt the sweet spirit of the Lord's Sabbath in my home. 

Between attending church, taking the sacrament, leading the choir, enjoyable family dinner and game time, and a very sweet discussion in our Hour of Power, I most assuredly state that I delighted in this Sabbath Day. 

Kendra

Flying Lessons

With the beginning of another school year, I seem to be thinking a great deal about teaching my children how to fly. Flying means facing the future with confidence and hope. I want them to soar beyond expectations, achieving their goals and dreams.

I have been pondering the question:

I have felt led to this simple, straightforward answer: “Strengthen the roots”.

A shift in focus from wings to roots

My initial reaction was something like, "But that doesn't fit with the imagery of flying... It would appear strengthening roots would be in opposition to flight." However the more I pondered, the more I realized the following:

• Roots allow us to be grounded. 
• Roots provide nourishment and strength.
• As roots reach deeper, greater stability is achieved.
• Roots provide connections.

Isn't that exactly what I want for my children? The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" I want them to be sure and strong, stable, and confident individuals. I want them to always feel connected to people that love them.  

Roots are found in family history. True stories of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or great-grandparents that faced real challenges, survived difficult situations, or persevered through life with all of its ups and downs can provide examples of fortitude and resilience. Sometimes these individuals found success, but occasionally it was failure and heartbreak that provided the valuable life lessons. These are the stories that will build and uplift my children. These are the stories that create connections, nourish despairing hearts, and offer hope.

There is a great deal of research that supports the importance of family history and family roots. Here is a snippet from one of those articles. 

Bruce Feiler (Author of “The Secrets of Happy Families”):

“…researchers at Emory did this study that showed that the kids who know more about their family history had a greater belief that they could control their world and a higher degree of self-confidence. It was the number one predictor of a child's emotional well-being.”   http://theweek.com/articles/444395/6-things-happiest-families-all-have-common

These are the phrases that really stood out to me:

• Self-confidence
• Greater Control
• Emotional Well-being

That list looks like Wings to me! Those characteristics that are developed through roots, are the precursors to safe and confident flight. 

The more we learn from the past, the more hope we can have for the future. If the number one predictor of emotional well-being is found in the roots of family history, every parent should feel the responsibility of binding their family together through ancestral stories. 

I find great significance in Malachi 4:7 which states, “And he shall turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers...” This verse speaks to more than simply figuring out your family tree. Rather, it is an invitation know and love those family members and their stories for our continued benefit.

I commit to do whatever I can to “Strengthen the Roots” of each one of my precious children by teaching them from family histories. 

Flying lessons have begun.

Kendra

Intentional Parenting

General Conference was glorious! As it coincided with Easter and the celebration of the risen Lord, the messages seemed to fill and refill my heart. I am more motivated to more forward in faith and with more confidence than ever before.

I loved the focus on FAMILY, MARRIAGE, and PARENTING.

I loved the messages of HOPE.

I loved the clarity I gained as I have pondered a different view of FEAR and GRACE.

I loved (even more this conference) being able to raise my hand to SUSTAIN the prophet.

I loved LISTENING, LEARNING, and FEELING with my own family.

I have decided to start with one quote this week... just one. I heard it at the end of conference and perhaps that is why is resonated so deeply in my mind. I have thought of it over and over in the last 2 days. In fact, I felt inspired to create my very own printable. (My first one ever!) Here it is:

I want to be that parent – the righteous, intentional parent.

I have asked myself a dozen times since hearing it, “Kendra, was than an example of intentional parenting?” or “Maybe I could focus this principle of parenting more in righteousness.”

I have found myself drawn to the scriptures and back to various sources that teach about righteous parenting. I have been speaking with my Father in Heaven about it in prayer. I still have a great deal to learn and even more to do to BECOME that kind of parent, but here are a few things that I was reminded that I am already doing. And although I am not doing them perfectly all of the time, I have made efforts to work on each of these daily. 

1. Get up each day with a DESIRE to be a good parent. It may sound simple, but when being a good parent is a priority, your thoughts are led to ways and opportunities to follow through.

2. Hold FAMILY PRAYER and FAMILY SCRIPTURE STUDY.
   We hear it all of the time, but there is peace and power that come when a family devotes some time daily to learning of God and then speaking to Him. It really unites an entire family.

2. Take CONCERNS, QUESTIONS, and DIFFICULTIES to the Lord. Talk about each of those precious children with Him. He knows them, loves them, and knows what can be done to help them. Praying for my children is a very beautiful part of my day. 

2. Be PRESENT with your children.
   Sometimes the most intentional decisions are those that pull you away from the online world or other distractions. When I focus on my children, I hear their thoughts, fears, excitement, and dreams. Look Up! Put down the devices and focus on the people in your home. Sometimes that means joining them in a board game, jumping on the trampoline, throwing a ball, telling jokes, doing dishes, helping with homework, or any other way that you spend time WITH them.

I am so excited to put more efforts on being an intentional parent. I choose to be a mother that will desire, work, pray, and be present for my children. 

What is Mothering Metamorphosis?

Metamorphosis is a change. Part of the definition of Metamorphosis is “any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances...”

As a woman, I am constantly striving for positive change in my life. I want to be better in practically every area of my life. Believe me, there is plenty of room for improvement. I also want to help my children grow and become better individuals. I want them to become their best selves.

Several years ago, my dear friend, Brandy, taught me about the lessons we can learn from the Metamorphosis of a butterfly. I have thought about this often and feel inspired to share it. 

Caterpillars are hatched with great potential, but they have to grow and change to reach that potential. Caterpillars crawl on the ground, in the dirt, or across the plants on which they live. They eat leaves. In fact, they spend most of their time eating and growing.

When a caterpillar enters the cocoon, so many extraordinary changes take place. At one point, there is little that would appear to be either a butterfly or a caterpillar. Instead, inside of the cocoon appears to be more of a soupy, broken-down mess. Eventually, the transformation is complete and a beautiful butterfly emerges.

Butterflies are exquisite. They don't crawl on the ground or in the dirt. They fly and have a completely different perspective of the world around them. Their desires have changed! These stunning creatures no longer seek just leaves. Now they desire nectar and live on that which is sweet.

There is some beautiful symbolism in this example for us. We each start off with great potential. We grow and work towards positive change in our lives. As we put off the 'natural man' and change to become followers of righteousness, we might find that the cocoon stage is messy. Our trials and struggles often feel like they are tearing us apart and breaking us down. In reality, if we hold on to the Savior and endure in hope, we discover that those hardships are making us a better, more beautiful version of our former selves.

I want to be the best version of myself – for myself and for my family. I want to change my desires so that they align with the Lord's. I believe that change -real and lasting change- is possible only through the atonement and grace of Jesus Christ.

Mothering Metamorphosis is the process of change that we go through as mothers and as women. This blog is dedicated to spiritually focused mothering and growth.

I invite other women and mothers to ponder the lessons of Metamorphosis, and join me as we endure the struggles, the dirt, the mess, the change, and the beauty that is this life.